{PandaMomo Lifestory} "shining as a star ...life is a never-ending journey of discovery learning"

02 May 2007

Joy & Hugs from TALKING TO DUCKS

Simple formula for JOY

"Wisdom is found in doing the next thing you have to do, doing it with your whole heart, and finding delight in it." - Meister Eckhart

GETTING IT BACK

"Be patient with everyone, but above all, with yourself. I mean, do not be disheartened by your imperfections, but always rise up with fresh courage. I am glad you make a fresh beginning daily. There is no better means of attainment to the spiritual life than by continually beginning again, and never thinking that we have done enough. How are we to be patient in dealing with our neighbour's faults if we are impatient in dealing with our own? He who is fretted by his own failings will not correct them. All profitable correction comes from a calm and peaceful mind." - St Francis De Sales

Poem about Me

Me,
I am me,
I am only me,
No one else can be me,
I cannont be everything or everyone,
But I can be what I am and I can do what I can.
And because I cannot do everything or be everyone else,
I will do the best I can and I will be the best I can everyday.

I will be me.

The Three Levels of JOY
"Circumstances do not make you, they reveal you." - Wayne Dyer

3 levels of JOY

1) Contingent joy - dependent on the specific external circumstances of a person's life. = HAPPINESS

2) Contextual joy - associated with a set of circumstances that develop over a relatively long period of time. It arises from the context of our life. = based on satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment = CONTENTMENT / PEACE OF MIND

3) Congruent joy - completed joy - intrinsic joy = SERENITY, a feeling of being undisturbed, calm and at peace from within.

Measuring JOY
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." - Soren Kierkegaard

Characteristics of JOY

1) Our thoughts and feelings are spontaneous and free rather than responses to other people's expectations or our own inner fear of not being good.

2) We enjoy the moment instead of anticipating future pleasure or living in our past experience of fun.

3) We are less judgmental of ourselves and others and are less critical in general.

4) Sudden irritability, sadness, and fear are less prominent in our lives.

5) We smile and laugh more. Commonplace events offer a sense of pleasure whereas thrills, escapism, and spectator experiences lose their appeal.

6) We feel content with our lives. We find ourselves saying, "I like my life" and "I like me."

7) We want other people to have a good life too.

8) We appreciate and feel grateful for simple things.

9) We feel love for and connectedness with others and nature.

10) We let go more. We are willing to let things happen. We do not try to make them happen, and we do not require a specific outcome in every situation in order to be happy.

11) We spend less and less time comparing ourselves to others, concentrating on how much we have, or thinking about what we are getting in contrast to them.

The Chemistry of Joy

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine but a broken spirit drieth the bones." - Old Testament

Feeling joy and expressing it has a positive effect on us.

Laughter is good for us, and happiness and hope and love are physically and psychologically beneficial. They work like good advice.

A good hearty belly-laugh raises our body temperature about half a degree and sets our cardiovascular system pulsating in a healthy direction. It gently massages the muscles of our abdominal, lumbar and chest area. It reverberates up our windpipe, banging against the trachea and vibrating in our glottis and our larynx. Finally, it rumbles forth from between our smiling lips at a speed of seventy miles an hour. When it is all over, the muscles of our bodies are relaxed. We feel good because our whole system has been touched in a healthy manner.

With joy and feelings of optimism and hope, our brain produces a category of neuro-transmitters =ENDORPHINS = an analgesic; kill pain and enable the body to heal itself. - gives a sense of "natural high" = elation = state of euphoria = "runner's high"

Ways of increasing our ability to produce ENDORPHINS

1) Keep a daily journal and record your feelings and dreams. As Pennebaker's study reveals, writing helps.

2) Lighten up a little. Take yourself less seriously. Most of the things we worry about never happen. Learn to relax and do nothing. Don't take your investments or your job or your church or children so seriously.

3) Laugh a lot. Go looking for things to laugh about. Find things about yourself and life in general to laught at. Laugh with people, never at their expense.

4) Focus on what you want, not what you don't want. Write down hat you want from life and what you want to do with your life. Commit yourself to focusing on these goals, not on the negative things that keep you from achieving them. Write a brief statement of commitment to doing so.

5) When you are ready to do so in a noncritical way, sit or stand naked before a mirror and draw a picture of your body. Record your feelings and thoughts about your body. Work with the negative feelings that come up. Write a letter of appreciation to your body for all the things it has done for you over the years.

6)Make affirmations. Select one affirmation a day and at least fifteen times a day, say it aloud to yourself.

7) Find time for play at least fifteen minutes a day. Take a walk or do other aerobic exercises fr twenty minutes, five times a week. Take time off from your responsibilities. Rest and relax with what is fun for you.

8) Eat healthfully. Reduce or eliminate junk foods and drugs from your dietary intake. If you do not wish to eliminate drugs and junk food from your intake, stipulate specifically in writing how much you will take in each day. Write about the times you struggle with your decision.

9) Find a group in which you can share the truth about yourself. If you can't do it with your family, find a "family of choice". If you are afraid, do it anyway.

10) Meditate, visualise, pray or listen to quiet music for at least fifteen-minute periods each day. If you do not know how to do these things, find someone who does, and ask him or her to teach you.

How We Block ourselves from JOY

"When I stopped resisting, when I stopped trying to change, when I trusted that there was nothing missing inside, tha I didn't have to choose between one part of me over another. I rediscovered me. - Sue Bender

LIVING THE JOY OF THE SOUL

"Those who are mentally and emotionally healthy are those who have learned when to say yes, whe to say no, and when to say whoopee." - Willard S. Krabill

Amend the Rules

1) I will foster exploration.

2) I will follow my heart.

3) I will avoid excessive rules and structure.

4) I will make self-esteem a priority.

5) I will accept imperfection in myself and others without scolding or preaching.

6) I will learn to listen to my own inner voice.

7) I will figure out what I want, not what I don't want.

8) I will touch, hug, hold, pat and otherwise physically caress myself as often and as much as I can.

9) I will find someone, or several someones, whom I can hug every day.

I will hug with open enthusiasm. But I will never assume a hug is okay with the other person. I will ask permission first. I will remember that every hug I give gets me one in return. I will keep in mind these words of an unknown poet:

The hug! There's just no doubt about it. We scarcely could survive without it.

A hug delights, and warms, and charms,

It must be why God gave us arms.

Hugs are great for fathers and mothers

Sweet for sisters, swell for brothers,

And chances are some favourite aunts

Love them more than potted plants.

Kittens crave them. Puppies love them.

Heads of state are not above them.

A hug can break the language barrier,

And make the dullest day seem merrier.

No need to fret about the store of 'em

The more you give, the more there are of 'em

So stretch those arms without delay

And give someone a hug today.

2:07 pm;